he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
