Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
