Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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