I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is Oprah even human
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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