i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm like, not good at living.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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