Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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