dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
