In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
