do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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