I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize