You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
