yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
