imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
