So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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