At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
