everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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