Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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