You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
