Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
