just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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