If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
