the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
