i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
