i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
