3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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