there was a trapeze. enough said
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
