In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
