11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
