Your face is a jimmy john
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
