Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
