They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize