No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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