you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
