i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
