he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
