i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
