We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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