were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want you more than these girls want KFC
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
