does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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