Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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