He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize