Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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