Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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