I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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