Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
honey bunches of taint.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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