I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
