please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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