i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
