Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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