dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
