She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
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Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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