I think I died a long time ago.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
