I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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