Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize