In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize