Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish my penis had a tongue
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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