i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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