operation harelip BJ is a go
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
