Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
