sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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