I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
