what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
