he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize