my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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