NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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