I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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