My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
