Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
