is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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